Exit Darcus

Today I want to talk about my new favourite book; I love it that much that I have read it four times within the space of a month. If I could only pick one novel that was compulsory for all of mankind to read, it would be this book. Every time I read this book, I learn something more - it challenges another aspect of my life.

If every girl read this book, the world would be a different place, if every guy read this book, the world could be an incredible place.

I am not going to say much more than that about this book, simply because I do not want to give anything at all away. I am such a literature snob and critic but I promise you this book will change your life if you would let it!

This book is not age or gender specific, but I must warn you that people have broken up with their partner because of this book; because they do not want to settle for less than complete happiness - they are looking for something more, something real.

I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting the author of this book and filmed our discussion about her book so do check it out!

xxx

I thought I would let you get to know me...

My Birthday is on the 26th of April.

(all presents are welcome)

I am doing a law degree.

I eat ice-cream more than I eat anything else.

My favourite colour is blue.

I think transparency is a very attractive trait.

I have a thing about water, I just love it! I drink ridiculous amounts of water and I like being in water.

I am a Christian.

I want to learn how to speak Chinese.

"Confidence is key" is my mantra.

My mum is my inspiration and I love her more than anything in the world, she is what keeps me smiling everyday and I don’t know where I would be without her.

Making lists keep me sane and organised.

I want to be a lawyer.

I can’t go a day without listening to music.

I have a Youtube channel.

I love reading because it forces me to see things from another persons point of view.

xxx

Call it arrogant but I love myself.

When people ask me: “Do you love yourself?” I’ve stopped saying: “Of course not. I’m not arrogant”, because I do love myself, I’ve learnt to love myself.
The amount of times I here people say “why don’t they love me” is uncountable. We expect people to love us when we don’t love ourselves. If you can’t see a reason to love yourself then why should you expect someone to see reasons to love you.
Learn to love yourself because, 1. You’ll be happier 2. You’ll stop letting people treat you like crap because you do deserve better and 3. You are worth loving.

x x x

Click here to watch my Youtube video where I discuss the importance of learning to love yourself.

L'Oreal Paris Elvive Extraordinary Oil-in-Cream Leave-in-Conditioner Review

For me, when I think of leave-in-conditioner, I think of light weight, sweet smelling, liquid sprays that claim to give intense moisture but really only works for a couple of hours. I know leave-in-conditioners work for a lot of people but I guess me being someone with long (weave) and thick hair (afro hair), I often feel that a lot of the leave-in-conditioners could give more moisture and the ones that do give a lot of moisture could be less greasy.

So when I walked into Boots last week to buy a drink, I really was not very interested in this "extraordinary" new leave-in-conditioner for dry hair. In fact, I was even more put off by the fact that it was a lotion because I assumed it would be thick, heavy and greasy. However, the persistent sales woman was very eager for me to at least try it, so I reluctantly put some on my hair, clearly stated to her that "we'll see if it lasts all day" and headed over to the drinks aisle.

I did not want to admit that to my surprise it did not have that sticky, greasy texture, instead the small patch of hair where I applied the lotion felt deeply nourished, light and soft. However, in no way was I prepared to buy it then, because I know from past experiences that most leave-in-conditioners feel great on your hair at first. Even so, I could not deny that I loved the delightful smell of the product on my hair which I have to assume was the 6 flower oils that the sales woman was talking about.

It was not until when I got back home after a long day of work; after my hair had been abused my rain and wind all day that I realised that, that same patch of hair was still beautifully soft. In actual fact, when I looked in the mirror it even had a shine to it. I was very impressed!

So the next day, I swallowed my pride and I bought this amazing product for £6.99 and my hair has honestly, never been softer! It has a lustrous shine, a weightless free flowing feel to it and a delicate floral fragrance.

Although some may argue that £6.99 is a bit on the pricey side for a leave-in-conditioner, I would argue that one, it works so it is worth it and two, with this product, less is so much more, therefore, it will last longer.

This product really is "EXTRAORDINARY" so, if you don't mind applying a product to your hair with your hands then the new L'Oreal Paris Elvive Extraordinary Oil-in-Cream Leave-in-Conditioner should really be at the top of your shopping list.

xxx

Coping with the loss of a parent

I was going to title this post, "dealing with the loss of a parent, but the word "dealing" almost suggests that it is like a checklist: lost a parent "check", dealt with it "check". As much as I wish it was that easy, it is not. So this post is titled "coping with the loss of a parent, because it's more of an ongoing thing".

When I lost my dad in a car accident when I was six years old, I was made the promise by so many people that it gets easier and although I know they hearts intentions were on the right place, it was a promise that was untrue.  Because it does not get easier, in fact in some parts of my life it gets harder. Losing a loved one is like loosing an arm or a leg, in fact loosing a parent is like loosing two legs, because just like a person who has lost their limbs learn to live and function that way, you learn to live and function without that person in your life. You learn to cope, but it doesn't necessarily become easier, because just like a person who has lost their limbs is reminded everyday that they are different from the average person in some way and they are missing something, you are also reminded everyday that a vital part of your life is missing. 

What I didn't want to hear, what I needed to come to terms with and what you need to come to terms with if you're watching this and have lost a loved one and please don't hate me for saying this, is that no matter how much you cry, how much you loath in self pity, how much you say it's not fair or how many 'what ifs' you come up with in your head, It's not going to bring that person back, it is not going to change the situation, at the end of the end of the hours, days, weeks that I spent crying and stating his unfair it all way, my dad was and is still dead. 

So after that, it was kinda up to me. My English teacher said in our lesson once, "why let the hand of the dead control the living". Well in this context it is the idea that it's okay to move on, at first I felt so awful about moving on, I hated anyone doing anything that my dad would have done because I didn't want it to be like he was being replaced. But at the end of the day he's not coming back to do those things, so I could either push everyone away and be lonely and depressed. Or I could use the circumstances that life has thrown at me as the driving factor as to why I want to succeed and that's what I've chosen to do. I want to make my dad proud and I'm not going to do that if I'm sat inside all day crying.

My family and friends are also incredibly, I love them so much! Especially my mum, who is the most incredible woman I've met.

Most importantly, how I cope with the loss of my dad is my faith, we live in a world were the majority believe that we have no purpose and are very nihilistic, but I don't believe that, you might disagree but, each to their own, I don't like to argue about it, I just think when we all die, we'll see who'll be saying "I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so". I believe in Christianity in the same way that I believe the sun has risen, not because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else. 

Finally, if you are reading this now and you have lost a loved one, please accept my deep condolences, it is the worst feeling in the world and it is something that I would never wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. 

(for more on this topic, watch my youtube video)

xxx

When It Comes To Love, Finders Keepers!

I’m tired of hearing/reading “if you have something good let it go” or “if you love someone let them go”. If you’ve found something good, don’t be stupid and let it go because there isn’t much good left in this world. If you are lucky enough to find someone you love, don’t make the mistake of letting them go, life is just too short. Stop playing with the boomerang, hoping that it comes back; once you’ve got it, keep it, cherish it and never let it go.

x x x

Do Not Call Me Pretty.

Pretty is not a compliment, it is a concession. What is pretty? Pretty is superficial. Pretty is a judgment we can make in one second: “Yeah, she’s pretty”. Pretty is a pedestrian kind of beauty, one I cannot understand ever having wanted to attain.

I looked up the definition of pretty so you girls will stop accepting it as a compliment or desperately wanting to be called pretty: (adj) Attractive in a delicate way without being truly beautiful or handsome (n) An attractive thing, typically a pleasing but unnecessary accessory.

So really, when someone calls you pretty, it’s an indirect insult; they are saying you are artificially pleasant to look at yet, “without being truly beautiful.”

Never settle for less than what you deserve! 

x x x